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  • Kanye/LL Cool J Most Passive-Aggressive Rap Grudge in Decades

    There's a lot of jive about the so-called grudge between Tupac and Biggie, but this storm in a teacup pales in comparison to the biggest, baddest rap grudge in history. Check it. Kanye West recently had these well-meaning but uncomplimentary words...

  • Fanfiction prompts arrest of rising TV star

    Jane Dawson, officer of New Orleans county, arrested 16-year-old Danny Rivers, star of the upcoming series Rock Out, at his own doorstep last evening. She explained to the Sheriff that she developed an impression of Rivers already after Googling...

  • Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus Form Group To Allow Everyone to Be Naked All the Time

    Hollywood, CA Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, two celebrities known for being naked in public, have come out for total nudity, all the time. "Wearing clothes is just yucky" said Cyrus, the former Hannah Montana, who has been trying to ditch the squ...

  • Joan Rivers Makin' 'Em Laugh in Hell

    Comedienne Joan Rivers may have died last week following complications from plastic surgery, but that doesn't mean she's slowed down or lost her edge. The eighty-one year-old comic, known for her bitchy attitude, is still makin' 'em laugh in the afte...

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  • A burglar invaded a huge 'Game of Thrones' nerd's house, ended up getting stabbed with a spear.


    "I am the watcher in the trailer."

    First of all, don't rob people's houses. Second of all, don't assume that giant geeks aren't dangerous, especially if they live alone in trailers, because the geekier and more alone-in-trailers they are, the higher the probability is that they have medieval weaponry at their disposal. That's the lesson from Wichita Falls, TX, this week, which home invader Thomas McGowan, 25, learned the hard way when he broke into the private domicile of Jimmy Morgan, Jr., an avid 'Game of Thrones' fan and a practitioner of medieval martial arts, and got stabbed with a short spear (video below).


    I feel like I've met this guy... a few dozen times all over the country.

    McGowan found himself face-to-face with Morgan, Jr. outside his bedroom door, and Morgan, Jr., y'know, stabbed him a bit. He then describes (with a a kinda scary choice of words) stalking him into the living room and waiting while the panicked burglar tried to get out the front door. I should note that McGowan was treated for his injuries and is fine, except for being charged with evading arrest (he had led cops on a car chase earlier in the day) as well as breaking and entering. Despite being stabbed with a spear, there were only minor wounds, even though he did manage to bleed all over Morgan, Jr.'s door.

    Again, in case you missed it, here is McGowan later that night being arrested, just so you know he wasn't stabbed in the torso.

    In conclusion, geeks living alone in trailers in Texas (or anywhere) should not be your first choice for home invasions, because if they don't like medieval weapons, they probably like modern ones. Geeks in trailers are terrifying.

    (by Johnny McNulty)

  • Benjy from the Howard Stern Show turned Rodger Goodell's press conference into a spectacle.


    Are you ready for some goofball? (via)

    Being a Rodger Goodell press conference, I doubt anyone was expecting much in the way of excitement. He's not famous for his charm and wit. Lately, he's been mostly famous for constantly trying to cover his ass as it gets closer to the frying pan over the NFL's ongoing problems with domestic violence.

    So spotting Benjy Bronk from the Howard Stern show was probably a welcome sight to most of the reporters gathered in the room to hear Goodell blather about why he should be able to keep his job.

    Benjy has been one of Howard's writers and on-air personalities for years. He's mostly famous for being yelled at whenever he screws up or does something especially weird. But another thing he's known for is committing to a bit as if his life depended on it, which is what he did today. 

    For anyone not familiar with the Stern Show, it probably seemed like a potentially dangerous lunatic somehow got into the press conference. But fans of Howard knew right away that it was Benjy, a mostly harmless lunatic.

    It sounds like he was there to get in a few questions before being spotted by someone as a potential troublemaker. He yells "What are you doing? I'm Benji!" as a large dude grabs him and begins dragging him out. That's when he started screaming "Don't put me in the elevator!" Which turned out to be the most memorable line from the entire event.

    (by Jonathan Corbett)

  • An emotionally fragile guy called Apple to ask what he should do while he's waiting for his iPhone 6.


    Your old phone is lonely. Go talk to it while you're waiting.

    If you just can't wait any longer to get your hands on a new iPhone 6, too bad. You probably still have a few weeks of waiting ahead of you. 

    You could try what comedian Dan Wilbur did. When he got sick of twiddling his texting thumbs, he called Apple support and asked them what to do. It's their job to know how to handle common problems associated with Apple products, right? And having to wait for new Apple products is a problem we all have.

    Luckily for Dan, Ramone thought this was the "best call [he'd] received in a long time" and had some pretty excellent suggestions, like what to do when Dan sees people who already have the iPhone 6. Mostly importantly, he commiserated: "I know exactly how you feel."

    (by Shira Rachel Danan)

JOKE OF THE DAY

  • Pass out in shock #Joke #Humor

    The man passed out in a dead faint as he came out of his front door onto the porch.  Someone dialed 911. When the paramedics arrived, they helped him regain consciousness and asked if he knew what caused him to faint.

    "It was enough to make anybody faint," he said.

    "My son asked me for the keys to the garage, and instead of driving the car out, he came out with the lawn mower."

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